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OrMagnifique556

Hi, i have a question

I improved both of the introduction, could you help me please ?

actully i have a really hard homework in english where i have to write a introduction as a homework to prepare for the final exam

the topic is : We should abolish the school uniform.

my introductions, i wrote 2, im really confused which one to choose could you please help, as its just a homework, which helps me prepare for my finale exam

the introductions :

1.

Are you aware that,nowadays, fashion is super important for teenagers ? They love expressing themselves through their clothes and often spend a lot of time thinking about what to wear in the morning, but with uniforms they do not have to worry about that and could save some time. So, I disagree with the idea of abolishing school uniforms.

Or

2.

Have you ever noticed how much teenagers care about fashion nowadays? They love expressing themselves through their branded clothes wherever they go. However, at school, uniforms prevent them from doing so, which actually helps in many ways. So, I strongly believe that school uniforms should not be abolished.

please help, it doesnt even count

I improve them, just choose one in between the two

Laurie C

Hi!

I suggest you go read the answer you got to your other question. It will help you improve both your introduction and help you chose one between the two.

As they are now, they are still missing some important parts, but it is a good start! :D

Laurie :)