Hey,
I wrote a little poem for unjust treatment received by Asians. Could you help me to improve my poem and correct the grammar faults please?
thanks a lot.
title: What takes us by the throat
What takes us by the throat?
By us, I mean the asian group that people don’t accept.
Is it difficult to be part of a major culture?
An Asian of first immigration will concur.
What takes us by the throat?
By us, I mean the asian group that people hate.
Is it the accuse of being the productor of the virus ?
An American Asian mom afraid of taking a bus will say yes.
What takes us by the throat?
By us, I mean the highly performing Asian refused by the Ivy League.
Is it the quota of affirmative action legitimates the discrimination?
An Asian of Students for Fair Admissions will give his appreciation.
But whatever it is,
It will never bend us completely to its will.
And we are fighting,
Until achieving our will.
Explication d'Alloprof
Cette explication a été donnée par un membre de l'équipe d'Alloprof.
Hi there !
I want to let you know foremost that the poem is well-thought-out.
Concerning grammar, the "Asian" group should be capitalized. "Productor" translates to "producer". By "accuse" I think you meant "accusation". I also think "Asian American" is better formulated. "Highly performing Asian" takes an "s" after Asian. I would also change the word "will" in the last sentence for one that is better fitting.
I would this helps !
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