Zone d’entraide

FraiseAdorable5247

Hello! Related to this question: https://www.alloprof.qc.ca/zonedentraide/discussion/109728/question

Here's the essay :)! Please be a 100% about everything wrong in it! Thank you!

Everyone wants to achieve something, whether it's big or small. We all do things for a specific reason; nothing is at random. This passion, pushing us to work hard daily, comes from setting a goal. For me, these goals center around my education and future career.

 

My primary goal is to become an aerospace engineer, a job that requires great academic excellence, making my education a top-notch priority. Reaching this goal begins with finishing my last year of high school with an exceptional average in every subject. Exceptional in my case is an average of 90% or higher. However, getting there won’t happen overnight; to accomplish this, I’m committed to studying daily for ten hours straight at least two weeks before an exam. These efforts will then pave the way for admission into CEGEP’s pure science program. Maintaining my rhythm of studies will also be crucial to getting the Cote R needed to enter the aerospace engineering program at university, where I will be getting my bachelor’s degree. This long journey of studies, one more year in high school, two years in CEGEP, and four years in university will take me seven more years ahead of me. This is relevant to me because engineering is truly my dream job. My work will be related to space, which I’m passionate about, and it will make me successful in terms of money.

 

Secondly, becoming wealthy is also a fundamental goal that fuels my everyday actions. My efforts throughout those seven more years of studies will get me to earn a degree with top grades that will help me stand out in the industry, opening doors to positions at prestigious organizations like NASA. However, wealth won’t appear as soon as I get my dream job; it’s built with investment over time. Therefore, as soon as I start working, putting money aside will be a priority. Although engineers have a great starting salary of $60,000 to CAD 75,000 per year, building more experience in the field will help me boost my salary even more, making a huge impact on my investments. Thus, only four years after my university graduation I will be able to become rich. The purpose of securing a part of my paycheck for a few years is crucial to me since having a lot of money will help me achieve financial freedom, allowing me to create a life of comfort for myself and my future family and live in a big house.

 

In conclusion, becoming an aerospace engineer by working hard throughout the journey, getting good grades, and achieving wealth through investments with my future big paycheck are what drive my efforts daily. Accordingly, with clear goals, anyone can unlock their full potential, transforming hard work into lasting success that will only have positive impacts on them.

Sarah G

Hello! :)

Your text is very good! It follows the structure of informational texts and gives enough information to keep the reader engaged and interested. Great work! :)

Just a tiny tiny comment on my part; how can you study 10 hours straight daily? Informational texts are usually objective, therefore exageration is not a common technique.

Either way, I suggest you study during several short periods instead of one 10-hour stretch ; after a while, your brain is not able to retain as much info, so it's a bit counter-productive to study for too long. :)

Keep up your good work! :)

Sarah G